Kids and Electronics aka Why I'm a Bad Parent

The hubs and I have decided to get his 9 year old daughter a phone, to give to her when she comes out this summer. I understand that this may be a controversial topic, however this was not a decision that was made lightly, or rashly. The reasons for it are too personal for the interwebs, but for this particular situation we feel like it is the best choice for our family.

Not my stepdaughter. Also source.

I *may* work for a large wireless carrier, and I may have had a line of service that was collecting dust which helped the decision making process. I may also have been able to procure the device for free during the St. Patty's holiday sale, and it's not going to cost me anything extra each month. I am also painfully aware that every other customer service call that my company receives starts with "My kid went over their allowance, and now my bill is $10,000..." so as soon as I got the phone, I started downloading games (fun and educational ones) and then started to put it on complete and total lock down.

Source

She can only call specific numbers that are currently programmed into her phone. If she attempts to add a new contact, or call a number not currently listed, she's going to get an error message. If anyone tries to call her from a phone number not on her special dial list, they won't be able to get through. This also goes for text messages - sent and received. Yes, I am a genius.

Her phone will actually stop working if she approaches her allowance threshold - voice, data, or text - and will not reset until the next bill cycle, so she physically can't go over her usage.

The phone is also set up so that she can't text or call even her special people during certain times of day - examples of where this would be important would be during school hours, after she's supposed to be asleep, etc.

She can play the games that I've downloaded for her, but she can't download any new games, songs, movies (even free ones) unless I temporarily unlock her phone for her - which I can do remotely, since she's generally in FL and I'm generally not.

Lock, meet Key. *evil laugh* Source

Here's where the 'I'm a Bad Parent thing' starts.
The final step was to add usage controls to the content she could see on the internet. The options were for ages 7+, 13+ or 17+. I started with the 7+, and tested it, and then the unbelievable happened.

The phone couldn't access Google.

Google is my best (imaginary) friend, people.

This was inexcusable! How would she be able to answer the thousands of inane questions that go through a child's mind on a daily basis? She actually used google last summer to teach me a math problem I was struggling with at work. I swear, she looked up "How to do weighted averages in English" - kids are brilliant. This usage control was going to take that away?! The horror. I couldn't fathom locking it down. I couldn't take that potential knowledge from her.

So I moved up to 13+, and I tried again. She could get into Google, but she couldn't get into Wiki.

Wiki is my back-up (imaginary) best friend.

So then I went to 17+, but she still couldn't access Wiki. So then I gave up. I removed the content usage control.

*YAY Internet freedom!* Source

So here's where I want to ask you for your opinion. Do you think you should lock up knowledge to protect your children from accessing websites that could have foul content, or do you let them learn to enjoy learning, and teach them when they have questions about foul content?

All comments are welcome, but try to be respectful of the fact that people have different opinions.

Uncategorizing Me

*Note: For those following this blog for adoption information, that's not going away. I'm just going to be revealing more aspects of myself. No hard feelings if you're not interested!*

I am complex, yet constant. I do not fit into boxes well, though I've tried to squeeze into many - even boxes of my own creation. I no longer feel the need to pigeon-hole myself, so this blog is not about the runner me, or the prospective adoptive parent me - it's just me. The uncategorized me.

Since I've never let the interwebs truly know me, I thought I'd give everyone a chance to catch up.

I am intelligent, but I'm not a member of the intelligentsia.
I'm fascinated by quantum physics, and the Hunger Games. I read about brain science and love science fiction. I love anything to do with a cultural experience different from my own, which lures me into spending years trying to understand how Mao brainwashed millions of people during the Cultural Revolution, and also sucks me right into Harry Potter's universe.

I am a musician, but I'm not a musician.
I grew up in the house of a jazz snob, and understand music theory at a post- doctorate level, but I haven't touched an instrument in 12 years. I love jazz and the emotional places it can take me, but I also love dirty gangsta rap and everything in between (and I mean everything - ska, hard rock, and I have a special love for funk). My iPod is schizophrenic.

Random Note: I can't spell schizophrenic without help.

I am a professional, but I'm not professional.
I been with a [sorry Internet - undisclosed] Fortune 500 company for 12 years. I hold a fairly important position in their day to day operations. The majority of my peers are 15 years older than I am. Yet, my worst nightmare is wearing heels 5 minutes days a week. I abhor wearing suits. I'm not a fan of manipulation or lying. I work remotely, which is to say away from people. I like that.

I am an athlete, but not an athlete.
If I told you I could run for 5 1/2 hours straight, you might say "WOW". If I told you I can't even run a marathon in that time, you might say "WALKER!" and *pshaw* your way right to judgement. I'm ok with that. I run slowly, but I run. I am not a waif, I don't look like a skeleton, but I am at a very healthy weight for me, and I feel happy. I have "quads of steel" as @tmbrunnerfirst would say, I wear running skirts - sometimes with sparkles - and I have a blast out there with the 85 year old women. Someday I hope to be one of them. I don't run to win (obviously), but I do run for sanity, which may be even better.

I am a mother, but I'm not a mother.
I don't have (nor will I have) any biological children. My husband and I are actively looking at CPS adoption, but we have put our process on hold until we feel like it's the right time for us. That doesn't mean that I don't know kids. I've been babysitting since I was 8, I was a posh nanny 'Real Housewives of Connecticut' style for years, I basically raised my brother - he may be hopelessly flawed, but he's happy, damnit - and I have a remarkable step-daughter, S.

This remarkable step-daughter recently hit J and I up for money for a charity event, and pre-signed us EACH up on a website to donate funds (she did a really good job with the salesmanship, I'll admit). When I went on the website, there I was - listed as "Friend".

I am spiritual, but not religious.
I believe in quantum physics - that we are all connected, and we have more of an impact on our environment and ourselves than we understand. I believe that we should be kind to ALL people, that we should be tolerant, and understanding. I don't believe in organized religion. I respect people who do, but it doesn't work for me. I should note here that I was kicked out asked not to return to the Catholic Church when I was 7. Apparently, owing to my curiosity of biology at the time, I asked one too many questions about the immaculate conception, and I may have alluded to the fact that if I got pregnant, and told my Dad it was a beam of light, that he would believe me because I was a good girl. It was my own Aunt who asked me not to come back to CCD.

My biggest regret is that I didn't get the fancy white maryjane shoes with the little heels for first communion like everyone else.

I *might* have concerns that I'm going to spontaneously combust each time I step over the threshold of a church.

I am socially liberal, but fiscally conservative.
The only thing that is off-limits on my blog is politics. I may touch on a social issue, but I will not dissolve into Us vs. Them conversations, or talk about politics at all. I am informed, I hope you take the time to inform yourself. I believe that people allow politics to polarize their opinions society.

I make decent money, and I don't believe in credit cards. I pay my bills first, my savings second, and if there's any left over, it generally goes to a bookstore, @runprettyfar, lululemon, or target. I can say probably, because any time I spend a $1 at a location not above, my bank turns off my debit card. This generally happens around Christmas, when I buy things for other people. It annoys me greatly.

I love social media, but not ALL of social media.
If you follow me on twitter (@eisparklz), you know I tweet and retweet random stuff daily. I love it. I love the interaction, I love the pieces of info I read, I love finding people with my passions. It's a maven's dream.

If you follow me on facebook, you know I haven't posted anything on my wall in months. I do check it about daily. I do read what others are doing. I do look at cute photos of friend's kids. I post comments on people's postings, but I just never post myself. Occassionally, my hubs will post pictures and tag me, and that's how you know where I am and what I'm doing.

I am a blogger, but I'm not a writer.
Consistency, thou art a jewel (thank you Rhett Butler). I'm not making any commitments to writing daily/weekly/monthly, because I don't see myself as a writer. I understand grammar, but I don't understand the mechanics of telling a good story, or presenting information. So I'm basically just talking with my hands right now. Blogs going forward will be similarly just stream of consciousness. There will probably be pictures.

These things are who I am, and who I'm not. Who are you? Do you hide your quirky self from the world, even as you blog/tweet/post on facebook?